Trying Not To Fall Into a Black Hole

I'm not feeling this at all today. Yesterday was a spectacularly bad day, and I'm still feeling it. I consider it a major accomplishment to write this much today.

I've been having some health problems for a couple of months now, and they've been getting me very down.  I've been fighting to not fall into depression because of them. It's not just the problems directly, it's that I finally felt I was on the right track to losing all the weight I need to lose, and that's been totally derailed by the fact that I can't exert any effort without being physically ill.  I can't even mentally concentrate for very long without feeling nauseous.  It's not good for my mini-habits, either.

But after multiple appointments with multiple doctors, they finally think they've figured it out.  I'm having minor surgery next Tuesday which I very much hope will take care of it. That hope is the only thing keeping me from serious depression.

I've been crying frequently and easily, seeing the positive less and the negative more, not enjoying things like I had been, and so on.  It's just too easy to despair.

My DH has been completely wonderful and fully supportive.  I really don't know what I would have done without him.  I love you, Sweetie!

I realize this post is disjointed, but I just don't have the heart to try and clean it up.

Great Weekend

This past weekend was a fabulous one for DH and me.  We had a blast for three days straight, and it wasn't a long weekend or a holiday or anything.

 We start our weekends on Friday whenever we can.  I drive into work with DH and work out at the company gym until lunch, when we go out and eat together.  In the afternoon I run errands or sit and read until he can escape, which he often manages to do a little early.  Most Friday evenings are all about our Friday Feast (FF), in which we eat too much and occasionally drink too much.

We usually have our FF at home, either cooking something special or getting take out, but this Friday started with the first of what we hope will be regular date nights.  We actually went out for Mexican food and Mexican martinis.  We sat in a restaurant and everything!  This was followed by beer and live music at a local pub.  Dinner was great, but we got to the outdoor pub a little too early.  The sun was still out, and as the live music was out on the patio we nearly roasted alive.  But we're determined to make it work.  Next time, wait 'til the sun goes down!

Saturday morning was filled with massive sales.  We, or at least I, started at the Sew Much More warehouse sale.  (DH napped in the car while I shopped.)  It wasn't as impressive as I'd hoped, and almost exclusively about machine sewing and machine embroidery, neither of which interests me over much.  I did snag a couple of handy accessories, though.

Next we headed over to the Citywide Garage Sale.  My main objective here was to meet my fitness goal in the air conditioning.  I also hoped to find some really cool jars to use as water glasses for my watercolor painting.  No luck there (everything was either too fancy or too expensive, or both) but I DID meet my fitness goal of thirty minutes of motion.

After lunch we headed to the grocery store.  We'd found an appealing grilled shrimp recipe we wanted to try, and while we were there we picked up some gorgeous salmon as well.

An evening spent cooking, grilling, laughing, and drinking WAY too much wine turned into a very late night of watching hilariously bad movies.  We didn't go to bed until after 2:00 am, four hours or so after our regular bedtime, because we were having so much fun neither of us wanted to quit.  (This was actually a bad thing, as both of us are night-owls who will stay up until dawn at the least provocation.  We fight that proclivity and try to go to bed closer to 10:00, but it's hard.  And we've been paying for it for the last three nights as we try and fail to get to bed before midnight.  Well worth it, though.)

Sunday started late, not too surprisingly.  We cooked up a yummy frittata for a late brunch, then spent the rest of the day being productive around the house and running a couple of local errands.  We basked in the feeling of accomplishment from everything we got done, and then the weekend ended with fabulous fish tacos made with the salmon we grilled the night before.  Culinary delight!

Something about the everyday stuff that made up this weekend was magickal, and I truly wished it would never end.

Labor Day Weekend

(I'm about a week late with this, but if I don't do it now, I'll never get it done.)

This was a busy weekend for us.  First, the snake training refresher, which many of you saw on Facebook--an awful and stressful, but totally useful and needed, event. Then, a wonderful, magical rest of the weekend!  Roadtrips, great food, rediscovering us, enjoying our dogs--it was incredible.  I didn't take any pics of the towns, restaurants or other people places we visited, but here are some of the natural highlights.

A view of the Texas hill country.

An angry cow, found on one of the numerous back roads we traveled which had loose livestock roaming around them.

A place that has become one of our favorite places in all of Texas.  

The ubiquitous cactus in bloom.

Obviously near a water source, as you won't find green like this anywhere else in this state at this scorching time of year.

Naturally terraced cactus.

The aforementioned water.  Surface water is a rare sight here in this drought.

More terraces.

DH, Don, intent on something.  :)

This might be my favorite shot of over 100 pictures.  Don, again, this time watching his step.

 Limestone cliffs near the bats.

 

It Can Now Be Mentioned

A few days ago, I published a post with some information I couldn't yet disclose.  See the reference to "some job thing that cannot be mentioned yet" in this post.  Finally, however, DH's company has announced the change, so I'm now free to blog about it.

Not to brag, but a mere six months after starting his current job, my DH has impressed them so much that he has been offered a more important position.  The job is more of a lateral move than an upward one, as the job level is the same, but he changes from having no actual employees working for him to having a team of eleven.  I'm very, very proud of him.  Of course, this is the man who was able to get not one but two job offers in the abysmal job market that was the tech industry after nine-eleven, so I'm not at all surprised!

While the job is a tremendous change for him in his professional life, the really big change, for both of us, is that it is in the Texas office!  Yep, that's right. We're moving back to the States.  We debated back and forth for days before he accepted the position, as we both prefer Canada for any number of reasons, and we definitely prefer the four seasons here in Ontario to the blistering heat of Texas.  But the fact that both of our moms live down there finally decided us.

This is not a permanent move.  We have not abandoned The Plan.  Have I talked about The Plan here?  It's pretty simple, really.  It  revolves around getting back to Vancouver, BC.  We left it close to ten years ago and still long for it.  (For more than a year after we were forced to leave due to post-nine-eleven issues, I almost couldn't say words beginning with a 'V' without bursting into tears.  I missed it that much.  Still do, as a matter of fact.  Writing this makes me a bit teary-eyed still.) At any rate, fear not, this move back to Texas will not interfere with that.  We still plan to move back after retirement, if not before.

In the meantime, Texas is where I grew up, it's where my mom still lives.  It's where DH and I met, and his mom has recently moved there, too.  We'll be moving to Austin, where we lived when we first got together, and where I attended university and lived a significant portion of my adult life.  We still have tons of friends there.  It will be good to be back there with all those people we love, at least  for a few years.

And the food.  Did I mention the food?  We'll be able to get REAL Tex-Mex again!  And real chorizo!  And margaritas almost as good as the ones in Mexico itself.  There's Chuy's and Texadelphia and the Magnolia Cafe!  There's the Brick Oven Pizza Restaurant and the Salt Lick.  And that's not to mention home cooking from both our families.  I'm going to gain so much weight!

As to the logistics, we're going to have to rent a house, 'cause we're not planning to move back until next September.  His new job officially starts on March 1, but we're delaying due to temperature and a citizenship issue.  Still, Texas, here we come!

Yeeeeee-haw!!!!!

Life Update, Part 1

A LOT has happened since my last post (which is why this is the first post in almost a month, lol!)  Last time I was talking about "Little" Kai's 1st birthday.  (There'll be more on that next time.)  Since then, my fabulous, wonderful, astounding DH has accepted a job.  As I write this, I'm sitting in the tiny little studio apartment which is our temporary housing until the house sells and we buy a new one, hopefully sometime within the next 90 days.

It's a bit crowded here, what with 200+ lbs of dog and their accompanying enormous crates, but the good news is the place is about a five minute walk from DH's new place of employment.  Also good news--we just moved yesterday, but already the boys are greatly improving their loose-leash-while-together skills.  And they're starting to become accustomed to living in a multi-family residence, as opposed to their own private space.  That might take a bit longer--they're still a bit jittery when they hear a door open or voices out in the hall. 

The cats are still at the house, as we thought the stress of moving, a new place, cleaning staff, and close quarters with the dogs would be too much for them.  We'll visit them on weekends, and hopefully the close on both the old and new house will be fairly close together, so they won't have to deal with too much upheaval.

In the past month, we've been going through the whole "relocation" process, meeting with realtors (on both sides of the move), movers, repairmen, and so on.  All this, and we're just moving an hour or two down the road.  I'm not sure we've been treated this well even though we've moved three times over international borders, with two of those moves being across the continent, as well.  It almost seems a bit silly to be making all this fuss, but I sure do appreciate it!

The house isn't quite on the market yet, but we're meeting with the selling agent this Wednesday, so it will probably be up by next Monday.  At that point, all we can do is cross our fingers.  And do a ritual or two, of course.

Here's hoping to a quick sale!

Beltane Mezcal

I hope everyone had a very merry Beltane.  Despite rain and gloom, we certainly did!  We decided to focus on excess this year, and the result was a very enjoyable night and day.

It started with my first ever taste of mezcal, which, despite my Mexican heritage, I'd never tried.   We just happened to see it in Vintages section of the local LCBO.  We were surprised to see no worm in the bottle, but we found out from a helpful clerk that while they DO still put it in mezcal, Canadian health regulations prohibit a worm's inclusion in bottles imported into Canada.

The mezcal itself had a deep, rich, smoky flavor.  My DH said that he'd had a really inexpensive mezcal before, and it had tasted like kerosene.  This one most certainly did NOT.  While "smooth" is not a word I'd use to describe it, neither is harsh.  I could only take small sips, and there was a pleasant burning all the way down my throat, but overall it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.  (My DH, who actually LIKES smokey flavors, enjoyed it even more than I did.)

The night continued with rich colors, great music, a superb bottle of wine, grilled steaks, and staying up WAY too late!  The next day, May 1, we slept in deliciously late, then spent the remainder of the day walking in the woods with our puppies.  Not necessarily excessive, but still a lot of fun.  And the woods, at least, felt wonderfully witchy.

Contact me if you want more details on the Mezcal.  :)

Shocking

 A personal update:

DH came back from his business trip to China two weeks ago to be told that thanks to his employer going in a new direction, his position was being dissolved, and he no longer had a job.  Effective immediately.  On literally his first day back, he drove in as usual, then called me about an hour after he’d arrived to let me know he was coming back home.

 “Why?” I asked, worried that he was ill. 

“I’ve been laid off,” he answered quietly.

Now, if this has never happened in your family (and I fervently hope that it both hasn’t and never does) you can’t quite imagine the sudden terror that grips you at this sudden news.  There is a quick moment of panic—what will we do?  What about the bills?  The mortgage?  Groceries?  Aaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!

But it has happened to both of us, both together and separately, before, so reason quickly re-asserted itself.  You make a plan to survive.  You stop spending any money at all that is not ABSOLUTELY necessary, you contact the bank and ask to skip a couple of mortgage payments, you start making a list of things you can sell if you must, you check into unemployment benefits, you thank whatever deities you hold dear that you began storing food and preparing for disaster a few weeks ago, so you have at least a small cushion of food to fall back on.  And so on.

DH started making phone calls to everyone he knows in his industry (micro-chips) on his way home that day, and has spent a lot of time since emailing more people, applying for jobs, and sending out resumes.  As I told a friend recently, I myself am simply trying to be supportive.  Together, we’ll be performing a ritual on the full moon for a new job.  (“When the moon rides at her peak, then your heart’s desire seek.”)  In the meantime, we’ll try our best to stay positive.

It’s not that hard, really.  There are a number of silver linings to his losing this job.

• He and I will have more time together, something we’ve sorely been missing the last two and a half years.
• He really, really hated the job.  Besides the long commute (an hour or more one-way) and the even longer hours, there were conference calls scheduled to start at 9:30 pm on some nights, and phone calls at all hours of the day and night, even on weekends, even on supposed vacation days.
• I really, really hated the job.  We got to spend very little time together, as I mentioned above, and he was often answering phone calls or email in that little time.  Thanks to the company’s quasi-human rights violations attitude, I wound up spending Thanksgiving alone one year and Ostara alone this year—both times because of last-minute trips to Asia that couldn’t or wouldn’t  be postponed.  He was even asked to come in on Yule itself, in the middle of a three-week “vacation” last year.  And he was always depressed and/or stressed out, and always, always sleep-deprived.
• We will no longer have to pay $500 in toll-road charges every month.
• His embarkation on a job search gives us both motivation to start diets and an exercise program.
• Even though we may be forced to sell the house at a loss, we will finally sell the house (if we need to move)!!!
• The possibilities that come with a new job and a move to a new place are always interesting and exciting.

 And, finally,

• CHANGE IS GOOD.

 

I remain confident that an experienced engineer such as my DH WILL be able to find a job.  And if not, then at least with our Permanent Resident status we won’t be forced to leave Canada again.

Anyone know of a good Product Engineering position?

Groundhogs, Blizzards, and Spring

Welcome to the Groundhog Day Storm of 2011! 

February 2 is an interesting day for DH and I, even without a blizzard!  Imbolc is often celebrated on the 2nd, as is Groundhog Day and the stolen Candlemas.  My DH and I celebrate not only the day we met, but also the day, a year later, when we married on the 2nd.  This year, it also happens to be the eve' of Chinese New Year (Year of the Rabbit, or so I've heard).  And, just to add a little interest, today there is, of course, the storm.  Whew!

I'm pretty sure we all know about Groundhog Day.  But how many of you know it has Pagan origins?  I'm not kidding!  See for yourself--Google "groundhog" and "Pagan". 

Imbolc is also a Pagan holiday with roots in fertility, weather divination, and looking forward to Spring.  Those who know much more about etymology than I will tell you that the word itself comes from a Gaelic phrase for "in the womb".  This phrase refers to lambs, which are now or will shortly be waiting to be born, as we are waiting for Spring. The Earth herself lies in wait, preparing to burst forth with new life in a few weeks.

Most of you don't know that DH and I met on the internet, long before it was actually cool to have done so.  We met face-to-face when he drove from Dallas to Austin in an ice storm on February 2nd, and we were married a year to that date later on a rainy one.

I don't know a whole lot about Chinese New Year, so I'll move on to the storm.  A blizzard was forecast for last night and this morning, but I haven't checked if we actually made it.  I've seen snow falling harder since moving here, and I've seen higher winds, but the criteria for a blizzard are the durations of both.  The media is calling it the GroundHog Day Storm, and I admit it's a catchy title.  DH and I have never been in a blizzard before, and with our love of winter and of weather, we loved it!

Whatever you're celebrating today, I hope you've had and are having a great one!

New Lance & Kai Blog

If you're even more interested in the dogs than what you see here, wander over to my DH's brand new blog exclusively about them!  It's called A Dog's Life in Canada, and it will be all about our two favorite canines. (With maybe the occasional guest blog by the cats, or other dogs.)

And it'll have plenty of pics of our two guys!  Especially as Kai's ears begin to stand up more and more!  LOL!

Don't worry though, I'll still post about them here--though maybe a little less than I have been.

Sticks and Stones. . .

You may or may not have noticed that I changed a word in the description in the header of this blog.  (Don't feel bad if you didn't, it's hard to see, and, for the most part, it's the same every time you visit.)  It's a small change, but an important one for DH and I.  Instead of reading "two witches", the description now reads "two Pagans".

The capitalization really isn't that important--more of a correction.  I should have had "witches" capitalized as well as "pagans".

What IS important is the change from Witches TO Pagans.  Thanks to a post on another blog (Adventures in Witchery:  Reclaiming Warlock) and an article by Storm Faerywolf entitled "Crafting the Warlock", my DH has realized that he was never really comfortable being called a witch (and, truth be told, I was never really comfortable calling him one).  As a result, he no longer sees himself as Kitchen Witch Don, but as Warlock Donald, until he finds his magickal name, at least.  (He did consider many other titles:  Sorcerer, Mage, Wizard, Magician, Wise Man, Cunning Man, but, for various reasons, none of them had the same appeal.) 


I think it's a bold move, and one that won't be popular with many people.  He'll have to fight a lot of prejudice associated with the title, perhaps even more so than with "Witch".  And he'll have to explain even more often that no, he doesn't worship Satan--to Pagans and non-Pagans alike, and maybe even to those who DO follow the Left-Hand Path.  But to me, the switch makes it sound likes he's grown-up in his practice--made a conscious, THINKING choice, instead of simply following someone else's rules.

Welcome, Warlock Donald.

Wetlands, Wine, and Wednesdays

Wednesdays are a weird but wonderful day for us.  Because of the cost of driving to work, my DH works from home most Wednesdays.  It doesn't seem like it would add up to much, but considering he has to take a long toll-road to work, it really does.  I don't care about the reason, though.  I just enjoy having him home an extra day a week, even if he is working.  :)

The not so wonderful part of Wednesdays is that DH also has TWO weekly evening teleconference calls, one at 8:30 and one at 9:30, lasting a woeful hour each.  This fact does have a whopping silver lining, however:  instead of getting off at 6:30 and getting home at 8:00 or later, he stops working about 5:30 and we have a few wonderful hours before he has to go "back to work."  It gives us a chance to do all kinds of wonderful things that we wouldn't otherwise get to do on weekdays, especially in the winter, when it's dark by the time he gets home the other four days of the week.

What kinds of wonderful things, you ask.  Well, this afternoon we took Lance to the dog park, after which we walked a couple of blocks to the small wetlands behind our house to take our 365 Project photos before coming home to have dinner with a glass of wine. 

Perfectly wonderful.

Treasured

I'm getting an iPhone and possibly a purebred puppy, too! My husband loves me very, very much!

Magical Night

Before I forget, I should write about Saturday. Don and I decided to grill, and we always grill extra when we do, for dishes we make during the week. So, while Don kicked off the grilling, I brought out Smirnoff Green Apple Coolers. YUM! We sat out on the back step and grilled and drank and enjoyed a beautiful late-afternoon here in Southern Ontario. It felt truly magical. So much so, in fact, that I was loathe to go in when we finished grilling.

But we did, and the magical night continued. The grilled salmon was like mana, and the Smirnoff cooolers kept tasting just as sweet. We watched a particularly good episode of Flashpoint and went to sleep on a bed of stars!

Sometimes the simplest things are magick!

Far North

With our love of roadtrips, we got it into our heads to go as far north as we could go by road while staying in Ontario this past Victoria Day weekend. We found a little logging road that headed about 100 kms north of Cochrane, Ontario, and got to the end of it right about sunset.

This timing made the trip back extremely interesting. Especially when we almost hit the moose in the middle of the freeway a couple of hours later. (We didn't, thanks to Don's incredible reflexes). Still, the trip was one of our most successful in terms of wildlife spotting:

2 baby black bears
3 or 4 black bear yearlings
6 to 7 adult black bears
1 Great Horned Owl
3 lynx (lynxes?)
a handful of bunnies
1 white-tail deer fawn
1 adult white-tail deer
And, last but certainly not least,
1 adult bull moose

Not Like I Planned

I just re-read my little description at the top of this, and realized that when the REALLY important stuff happens, I don't have time/inclination to blog. For instance, my aunt Juana passed away a couple of weeks ago. Did I think about blogging, no way, no how. Not that I think that's a bad thing (the not blogging, I mean). I was way too busy/upset for such trivial matters.

Also, btw, Don and I decided to become Wiccan last January.

A Warm Winter Evening

Laying (lieing?) here beside Don feels SO very good that I just had to journal about it. Working on sudoku or reading before we get ready for bed is relaxing. As long as we're together, it's all good! (And besides, it gave me the chance to play with my new blog again. :) )

Sent from my iPod

DATE!

7:40 "Twilight"

VIP Oakville

I really enjoyed our first Date in a long time. The day started with me being depressed and upset 'cause it was snowing when it wasn't supposed to, but the movie was so good and Don's company so wonderful that I soon got over it, even with the impossible parking situation at the theater. Grabbing Chinese food after was a good idea, too, but taking it home to eat wasn't, as we ended up staying up 'til after 4:00AM! (Ooopsy!)

Sent from my iPod