[Pagan Blog Project] O is for Orgasm

“…all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals." [1]

One of the most wonderful things I’ve discovered since becoming Pagan is a delightful freeing from the guilt of enjoying myself.  Especially sexually!  Before, even saying the ‘o’ word in public would have made me feel vaguely guilty, much less printing it for all the world to see.  Now, I can rejoice in saying it, in typing it, and especially in achieving it!

Of course, as I implied in the first sentence, it’s not only sex.  It sometimes seemed like it was anything that made you feel good.  Or was that just me?  Anyway, it’s not only sex, but sex is where that freedom is most obvious.

So honor Her.  Be safe, but whether it’s with a significant other, a stranger, a friend, by yourself, or with a group of people, it doesn’t matter. 

It’s all good!

---

[1] From “Charge of the Goddess.”  Check out the Wikipedia entry on the piece.

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[Pagan Blog Project] N is for Nothing

Seriously, folks, I'm stuck.  I suppose I could write about Names or Nature, about Nymphs, wood or otherwise, or about Deities whose names begin with 'N'.  But none of it is really speaking to me.  Or else too many people have already addressed the topic.

I could write about the nothing you aim for when trying to clear your head while meditating.  Or the nothing I felt in the religion in which I grew up.  Again, just not feeling it.

Perhaps this is a nihilistic post?


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[Pagan Blog Project] M is for Mother

While my mother is an amazing person about whom I could write many long posts and sing her praises, this post is not about her.  It's really all about me.  :)

I have for many years now had a problem with the mother part of the maiden-mother-crone cycle.  Or more specifically with my own role in it.  You see, I'm well past maidenhood (VBEG), and I don't think I could be considered into cronehood yet.  (When does that happen, anyway?)  That puts me smack in the middle of the motherhood stage.  The problem is, I have chosen to be child-free, so I feel the title just doesn't apply.  And I don't think I can really count my fur babies.  :)

I am a stepmother, but since I didn't really play a large part in raising my stepdaughter, I rarely felt any kind of maternal stirrings there. And especially now that she's in her twenties, we're really more friends than we ever were mother/daughter.  For her part, she has a mother, she didn't need me in that role.  And that affected me, also.  I never wanted to usurp her mother, so I took a friendship path instead.  And it has worked well for our family, particularly during her teenage years--when she couldn't or wouldn't talk to her parents about anything, she could talk to her friend. 

But does that qualify me as "mother"?  I don't feel like it does.

I am also an aunt, many times over.  And that brings a very special joy.  But I'm sure it doesn't compare to actual motherhood.

I know, I know.  I'm supposed to think of it as being fruitful in other ways, creatively or artistically or professionally or whatever.  And I try to think of it that way.  I really do.  And sometimes I even believe it.  But deep down inside, I never really believe it.  It's too much a part of my culture that "mother" means having children.  It's too much around me to not feel that way at least part of the time.  Does this mean I'm letting others unduly influence my thinking?  My feelings?  Perhaps.  But it is what it is.

And I know I'm not the only one out there who feels this.  It might or might not have worked for our ancestors in following the Old Religion.  But with modern birth control methods, and the modern freedom to choose (mostly) to be child-free, it doesn't necessarily fit anymore.  The problem is not the stage in life, it's the word.  Yes, it has a nice alliteration.  Yes it describes a natural order.  But can't we find a different word?  I notice that in the corresponding male stages "father" is often replaced with "warrior."  I like that.  Why can't we make it maiden-mother/warrior-crone.  Or we could use Matured, Confident, Free, Knows Herself.  The list that describes this stage in a woman's life is endless.

For myself, I like this stage of my life being the 'Warrior" stage, for so many reasons.


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[Pagan Blog Project] L is for Lughnasadh, or August Eve

Lughnasadh celebrates the first harvest of the year.  It is the first of three harvest festivals (the other two being Mabon and Samhain.)  It also has the distinction of being the one Wiccan/Pagan holiday with which I cannot seem to connect.

I WANT to celebrate it.  It marks the end of summer, and the fact that there’s FOOD.  Both GREAT reasons to party.   Yet, I can’t seem to get into it.  I have to really try in order to not totally forget it, and even when I remember I often leave any planning to the last minute, or find I’ve not made enough time to do anything to celebrate it.

I know the two reasons I have so much trouble with it.  First of all, it’s not marked by some definite event, like a solstice or an equinox.  Secondly, when the Christians stole it (and called it Lammas) they didn’t make a big deal of it, like they did for Samhain, Yule, and Ostara (All Hallow’s Eve, Christmas, and Easter.)  As a consequence, I didn’t grow up celebrating its descendant, either.  And perhaps a third reason is that I don’t particularly follow Celtic traditions, so it didn’t appeal to me from that perspective.  I’ve recently learned that early Wiccans called it “August Eve.”  This is much more attractive to me, personally.

Maybe, armed with knowledge of this older name, I will be able to connect with it this year!

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[Pagan Blog Project] J is for Jill-of-All-Trades

Or maybe that should be Jill-of-All-Crafts.  I often feel scattered and distracted in my Craft work.  I have so many interests in so many paths and so many subjects, I can’t seem to focus on any single one.  This is not to say that I’m a master at any of them.  I can’t seem to settle down enough for that!  Part of the problem might be that I’m still somewhat new to the Craft.  Is three years enough to not be a newbie anymore?  Part of it is that I don’t spend as much time on it as I’d like.  Although that one might actually be because I’m too intimidated by all the subjects!

In what am I interested, Craftwise, you ask?  Name it.  Just off the top of my head:  Candle and knot and moon and water and elemental and gemstone magick.  Elixirs, herbs and powders.  Wicca and Gypsy and Aztec and Shamanistic paths.  Celtic and Gardnerian and what seems like a hundred other Wiccan paths.  Tarot and scrying (fire and water) and pendulum divination.  Aromatherapy and chakras and astral projection.  Meditation and ritual and spellcrafting.  Cottage and Kitchen and Green and  Dark Witchery. And of course each topic has a zillion small parts, most of which I find interesting!

I need to sit down and work out a priorities list, like I’ve done for my life overall.  Force myself to focus on one thing at a time.  These things are not always necessary for me in the Craft—often I can just feel what’s right FOR ME.  I get a tingly, uplifting, energetic feeling when I encounter such things—when I read a spell that I know will work for me, or when I find conflicting information on a witchy topic.  But it only seems to happen for small, specific things, not broad categories.

Anyone else out there have too many Craft interests?

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[Pagan Blog Project] I is for Information

Books, articles, gatherings, and of course the internet.  There is no shortage of places to find information on any aspect of paganism, any path, just about anything.  It’s great.  It’s wonderful.  I wouldn’t be a witch otherwise.

But should there be caution and concern, as well?  Certainly one should be cautious about any information given to them by others, especially on the anonymous internet.  Take everything with a proverbial grain of salt and try to find at least three opinions/sources for it before trying it for yourself.  But that’s not what I mean.

Should we be cautious about putting the information out there in the first place?  Should we be so publicly open about our beliefs?  So willing to let anyone know what our decidedly un-mainstream religion is?

Given this blog, it’s easy to see what my feelings are on the topic.  As I mentioned above, I would never have found my own path without this openness.  I believe firmly in freedom of religion.  And certainly my English Major/Librarian roots scream out for freedom of speech.

But there are those of us who feel that a more guarded attitude is necessary.  The main argument I’ve heard is that the tide WILL turn, the Burning Times might happen again, and tolerance is relative.  These people feel we should stay firmly in the broom closet, keeping our ways and identities secret and only allowing those initiated to access them.

How do you feel about this issue?  I realize that simply being here, reading this probably means you’re at least partly out.  But what are your thoughts on the other side of the argument?

How far have you stepped from the closet?

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[Pagan Blog Project] H is for Home Cleansing

Since we just moved into a new house (I need to change the picture on this blog), I thought sharing the house cleansing I plan to do would be appropriate.  It’s a fairly simple process, and it should have been done before we moved in here, but after will work, too. 

Start by cleaning EVERYTHING (floors, walls, counters, windows, etc.) with some form of lavender in order to purify and to attract positive energies.  It can be simple lavender water, it can be powdered lavender, whatever you prefer will work.  Move widdershins as you do this, and perform this chant:

Negative energy be gone from here

Only positive and good come near.

Now that you have cleaned the house, the next step is to sweep negative energy away.  Weather permitting, open all your doors and windows.  After you do so, take your besom, thoroughly “sweep” out every room, even the closets, even the garage!  Again, move widdershins.  While you do so, continue to repeat the chant. 

Close the doors and windows.  Light a sage bundle (VERY lightly, you don’t want problems with smoke inhalation!).  Once again, moving widdershins and repeating the chant, walk through the house, stopping at every door, every window, and in every room to describe a pentagram with your sage.  Repeat the above chant if you feel it is necessary.  This last step will finish the cleansing and protect against the return of negative energy.

After you have finished, do whatever you can to keep negative energy away and encourage positive energy to fill the space.  Burn rosemary incense, laugh a lot, perform a House Blessing—anything you feel will keep the balance in the positive.

The house should now feel light and airy.

[Pagan Blog Project] G is for God

(I missed the first week of ‘G’ because I was right in the middle of moving last Friday.  Quite literally, all my material possessions were being carried from the house to the truck that day.  I decided I would not miss this week, late or not, no matter what kind of chaos the move was causing in the new house.  J  )

Oddly enough, I’m going to start this Pagan post with a discussion of the Christian God.  No, I haven’t entirely missed the point.  It’s just that growing up as a female in the Catholic Church, I developed an antagonistic view of male gods in general.  Once I discovered Wicca and was free of that, of Him, it kind of backlashed and allowed me to really, truly hate Him, and in turn have difficulty with all other male deities.

And yet, I felt the need for balance.  I just couldn’t see myself on a Dianistic path.  For one thing, I wanted to follow a path my DH and I could walk together.  For another, I couldn’t see dismissing my DH, and every other male in my life, because I had problems with a god that just happened to be the same sex.  Not that the Dianistic tradition does that, as far as I know.  But it’s what I felt I would need to do if I chose to go that or a similar way.

So I had to find a way to come to terms with a penis on some of my deities.  It was hard (pardon the pun).  And I’m still not all the way there.  But it’s gotten better.  It took a lot of reading and study and meditation, but I can now love and admire and respect the Goddess’ consort almost as much as I do Her.  I can appreciate His value and yes, even His maleness.  I can praise Him and speak to Him in ritual and seek His help and guidance.  In turn, I find I don’t resent male gods in other pantheons, either.

As to my relationship with the Christian God, I don’t know.  Christians and their attitudes keep getting in the way.  Intellectually, I recognize He is just another aspect of THE God, but I still find it hard to keep resentment and anger out of my emotions when I think of Him.

Luckily, I don’t have to think of Him very often at all, anymore.

F is for Forests

For the Pagan Blog Project:

Growing up in the semi-arid desert of South Texas, the only way I saw forests was in magazines or on television.  Sure, there were small copses of mesquite trees, but no one in their right mind would rightly call these thickets a forest!

The first time I ever saw a real forest, I was in my early twenties.  A friend and I took a road trip up into New Mexico in January.  It was the first time I had seen either forest or any real amount of snow.  Together, they were so beautiful I made him pull over, got out of the car, and stood there at the side of the road and just cried.  (I didn’t know until then that it was true you could shed tears purely from seeing something beautiful.)

The next time I saw a real forest, I was about thirty.  This time, my DH and I flew into Seattle to meet some friends.  Together with them, we drove up to Vancouver to see other friends.  On the way, both my DH and I gawked out the windows and kept repeating, “Look at the trees!” in voices filled with absolute awe.  I’m sure our friends wanted to murder us by the time we got to Vancouver, but we just couldn’t get over the sight of those thick, luscious, unbelievable TALL, trees.

DH and I eventually moved to Vancouver, and I experienced forest after forest after forest there.  Glades and hollows and hidden meadows and, of course, huge, enormous, TREES!  From there, we moved to California, where I wandered amongst redwoods.  Then we came here to Ontario, where the views of autumn are not to be believed.

So, as you might be able to tell, forests are very meaningful to me.  Even when I was nominally Catholic, I always felt I could feel God in the forests.

Then I found Wicca.  Or perhaps it found me.

My religion has grown to all of nature, but forests still hold a special place in me.  I once upon a time thought I could feel God there.  Now, I feel the God and especially the Goddess in those green and red and gold and crimson depths SO much more!  

Whenever I picture Her, She is surrounded by the dark, dark green of deep, old-growth forest.  There is often a stone seat near Her, or perhaps She is standing by a trickling brook, flowing over moss-covered rocks.  A very few shafts of sunlight filter through the thick branches to reach the soft floor.  She wears a flowing, gauzy gown in a shade of green fitting the season, or perhaps in a shade of bark-brown, and despite the darkness of the woods, She glows.  Whenever I walk along a quiet wooded path, I feel Her presence so strongly I feel She is walking beside me.

(I think of Him in the forest, too, but then I think of brighter woods and game trails, and dark nights on those trails.  I think of Him either surrounded by animals, or hunting them, depending on his mood.  Or maybe He can do both at once.)

So, you see, it is no surprise to me that forests are sacred.  Or that I am part of a religion in which they fit so well.  Or that I knew this deep down inside long before I ever heard of that religion.)

The Goddess calls to Her own, after all.

First

I've been looking for a way to get back into blogging regularly, not to mention getting more witchy on this blog, and I think I've found it!  The Pagan Blog Project is similar to a couple of things I've tried before, but I think it'll work better for me. 

ABC Wednesday's posts were mostly pictures, and since my posts are mostly text, it always made me feel inadequate and out of place. Being the only pagan blogger I ever found there didn't help, either.  Don't get me wrong--the people there were wonderfully friendly and supportive, and they have a GREAT project.  It simply didn't work for me.

Pagan Blog Prompts is also great, it gives me lots of inspiration.  But I rarely, if ever, actually seem to write it up.  Maybe my muse finds specific topics too limiting, I don't know.  Whatever the cause, I'm not writing.

In contrast, the Pagan Blog Project (PBP) is all about the Craft and it's at least as much about writing as it is about visual art.  It's also just limited by the first letter in a topic, so plenty of freedom for my muse.  I'm a little late jumping into it, as I just found it today, but I'm hoping I can actually stick with it to the end of the year!

I realize this first post isn't truly about anything spiritual or pagan, but my first post being on an 'F' Friday was too serendipitous to miss!  I promise next week will be much more on-topic.

I can't wait!