Injuries, Illness, and Exercise

I just realized it's been almost two years since I posted here.  Right before my health took a real dive, actually.  I won't go into details, but I grew very ill before having two surgical procedures in the Fall of 2015.

Once I recovered, I found out I'd developed Type II Diabetes from all the inactivity.  Needless to say, sitting in front of a computer blogging was the last thing on my mind.  I signed up for the local YMCA, discovered cardio kickboxing and water aerobics,  and took off to regain my health.

All was going really well until I was hiking the next Fall and broke my ankle.  Geez.  Another six months of inactivity.

But, finally, I recovered enough from that to start exercising again.  I went to a handful of aerobics classes and did a little weightlifting, then I promptly wrenched my knee getting out of a weightlifting machine.  Cue another six weeks of no exercise.

Once again, however, I've recovered enough to exercise.  I found out the pool, much as I love water aerobics, was disastrous for my skin.  And the cardio kickboxing classes had, for the most part, disappeared.  So I'm trying new things.  New to me, anyway.  I'm doing Zumba and Les Mill's BodyCombat.  I'm getting back to lifting.  I even tried Les Mill's BodyPump this morning.

I'm being careful with my knee, and my still-healing ankle, but I'm determined not to give up.  I WILL regain my health.  I WILL defeat the diabetes.  I WILL get back in shape.

Wish me luck.

Old (Good) Habits

I spent a large part of today doing something I used to do all the time, but haven't done in a long, long time--reading other people's blogs.  Sure, I've read the occasional blog here and there, but once upon a time I made it a habit to keep up with a number of them.

Why was it a good habit?  Partially because I avoid any kind of official news source like the proverbial plague.  I tend to learn about things going on in the world through social media, including blogs.  Also because many, many times reading others' blogs would be inspiration for my own.  (I was writing more about the Craft then.  I'm willing to let myself go on this a while longer, as I try to establish a habit of writing again, about anything, but I do want to get back to that eventually.)  Lastly, it helped me connect to people in a non-threatening way that my very introverted self really needs.

I had a ton of things to do, so I felt guilty about doing it, but at the same time it felt good.  I'll definitely need to make more time for it in the future.

What habits have you let go that you wish you hadn't?

A Week of Mini-Habits

It's been just over a week since I started my Mini-Habits, and I'm happy to report that they're going pretty well.  Some are going better than others, but I suppose that's to be expected.

I had originally only planned to do the blogging, creativity, and nature journal Monday to Thursday, and the cooking only when I was home.  I'm finding I may need to modify that plan.

My nature journal habit is definitely going the best of all of them.  I love doing it, and I'm already to the point where I WANT to do it seven days a week instead of the original four.  Here's a couple of pages of what I'm doing:
 

The blogging you can see here online.  I think I need to be doing this every day, even if it's just the minimum.  This mini-habit is definitely helping me get back to it, but it's happening more slowly than I'd like.

My creativity habit is going fairly well.  So far, it's been aimed mostly at my nature journal.  I added decorative papers I love to it.  It's probably helped a lot with the journaling, lol!

Front Cover

Back Cover

Inside Front Cover

Inside Back Cover

I'm also working on a pencil pouch I can attach to it so I can add color to my sketches in the field, and possibly an envelope for embellishments.

As for cooking, that's not going nearly as well as I'd hoped.  I'm definitely going to have to change that plan to every day.  I need to add a minimum activity for days I'm not at home.  Maybe reading the recipe, or even deciding what I'm going to make the day I am home.

I can't wait to see where I am in a month!

Doing my minimum 10 words or so today.  There, done!

A New Beginning

I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I was here.  Just over ten months.  The thing is, I really enjoy writing this, when I do it.  And it's easy.  So I have no idea why I just don't.

No matter.  I've been reading a book by Stephen Guise titled Mini Habits:  Smaller Habits, Bigger Results.  It's all about setting what the author calls "stupid small" goals to try and form habits that will turn into something larger.  The idea is to make them so small that you won't resist them and they won't cost you much willpower.  He claims he got into shape by setting a Mini Habit of one push-up a day, and he swears by the method, so I'm willing to give it a try.

I've set four Mini Habits for myself, which is the maximum he recommends at any one time.  He actually encourages people to do two or three, but as per usual I'm impatient.  :)

The first one has to do with starting a nature journal.  I've been wanting to do it since I moved here, and I'm hoping this will start me on that path.  The Mini Habit I will try to cultivate is simply to step outside for thirty seconds each day.  I tried it earlier, and it did make me wish I'd brought the journal with me, so tomorrow that is what I'll do.

The second stupid small habit I'm trying to acquire has to do with writing this blog.  I will achieve success by writing ten words each day, Monday through Thursday.  I can always do more, as I'm dong here, but I must do the minimum.

The third is being more creative in general.  The habit here is to go upstairs where most of my arts and crafts supplies are.  That's it.  I don't have to do anything once I'm there, I can simply turn around and come back downstairs if I so choose.  But most likely I won't.

Lastly, I want to cook more, so I have set myself the minimum goal of gathering the first ingredient.  Again, that's it.  If I choose to not go any further, to put whatever it is back up, I still win.  I'm hoping once I get over the resistance to starting I'll go ahead and make whatever it was I was planning.

According to the book, studies have shown that habits take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form, depending on the habit, the person, how much they want to form it, and so on.  Much different from the 21 or 30 days most pop-psych books claim.

I guess I'll find out if it works somewhere between three and thirty-six weeks.

First

I've been looking for a way to get back into blogging regularly, not to mention getting more witchy on this blog, and I think I've found it!  The Pagan Blog Project is similar to a couple of things I've tried before, but I think it'll work better for me. 

ABC Wednesday's posts were mostly pictures, and since my posts are mostly text, it always made me feel inadequate and out of place. Being the only pagan blogger I ever found there didn't help, either.  Don't get me wrong--the people there were wonderfully friendly and supportive, and they have a GREAT project.  It simply didn't work for me.

Pagan Blog Prompts is also great, it gives me lots of inspiration.  But I rarely, if ever, actually seem to write it up.  Maybe my muse finds specific topics too limiting, I don't know.  Whatever the cause, I'm not writing.

In contrast, the Pagan Blog Project (PBP) is all about the Craft and it's at least as much about writing as it is about visual art.  It's also just limited by the first letter in a topic, so plenty of freedom for my muse.  I'm a little late jumping into it, as I just found it today, but I'm hoping I can actually stick with it to the end of the year!

I realize this first post isn't truly about anything spiritual or pagan, but my first post being on an 'F' Friday was too serendipitous to miss!  I promise next week will be much more on-topic.

I can't wait!

A Tarot Blog

Introducing "A Witch's Journey Through the Tarot," a blog I just started with a more witchy bent.  Don't worry, though, I don't plan on giving up on this one, or on changing it.

"Through the Tarot's" purpose is to chronicle my quest for knowledge of tarot cards from the very beginning to Tarot Grandmaster.  It'll take time, and a lot of hard work, but I'm confident I can eventually get there.  Along the way, I'll start with books I already own and eventually progress to online courses and even real-life apprenticeships.  I'll talk about my lessons, occasionally write reviews of decks or accessories, and just have fun with it.

I'd been thinking about it for a while, but I just made the inaugural post yesterday.  (I'd gotten hung up for months on a title.)  How often I post there will depend on the lessons upon which I'm working, and whether I'm at a daily part of them, or a period or reflection or some such.  It will be fairly steady, though, without all the periods of nothing-worth-writing-about-going-on that this blog experiences. 

Come check it out, and please follow if you're interested!

Learning to Be a Witch

Another posting idea from Pagan Blog Prompts!

I heard a joke a while back (I can't remember where):  How many Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?  Answer:  Just one, but she has to read 20 books about it first.

I don't know if that stereotype is true of EVERY Wiccan, but it was certainly true for me.  The first six months or so after discovering Wicca I must have bought thirty books or more on that subject alone.  And I continued doing so for quite a while.  And there's still plenty that I WANT, but don't want to buy at the moment.

It makes sense.  Since the vast majority of us come to Pagan paths from Christian upbringings, we have a LOT to learn as we seek those paths--not only one new religion, but often many new religions, not one god, but many, and that includes goddesses, too!  We also have new holidays, new philosophies, new moral compasses, new everything!  (I didn't realize just how much I actually knew about Catholicism, most gleaned from just growing up with it, until I started learning a new religion from scratch.)

And while it's relatively easy to find teachers on the 'net, it's generally very difficult to find real live people in real life to with which to interact and from whom to learn.  I'm lucky--the Wiccan Church of Canada has two locations fairly near me--in Hamilton and in Toronto.  If I wished, I could attend weekly classes at either of those locations.  (I don't, but that's a whole other story.) I am also unlucky in that they are so close--I haven't been able to find a small local coven which I do want to join because searches for such things in this area tend to bring back only the aforementioned Wiccan Church of Canada.  Which leaves me with books and the internet.

Not that I'm knocking the internet.  I've found many wonderful places to learn on it, met many great Pagans (and non-Pagans), and made some really good friends besides.  I'm currently enrolled in three classes at The Magical Circle School. (And I'd be learning a lot more there if I didn't have a personal problem with self-paced and semi-self-paced classes, but that, too is another story.)  And any halfway decent search will find at least dozens of other such locations, some free, some not.

But my first love is still books.  Actual paper books that I can hold in my hands, stick notes in (DH HATES highlighted books, so I don't do that anymore), and refer to just by walking over to a bookshelf.  So I will probably continue to do most of my learning on my own, through those books.

I think I'll go do some reading right now.  :)

Still Blocked

As you can probably tell by how much I've slowed down in writing this blog, I'm continuing to have trouble with blocking.  I thought that making my Getting My Life in Order List would help, but it didn't.  I'm still stuck at the second item on the list:  learning to read tarot cards.  I don't think the list has been responsible, but I've gotten even worse.  I don't have the energy, the motivation, the willpower, or the even the desire to start things, and even if I do start them, I can't seem to finish them.  My problems with metal-poisoning-related fatigue made things worse, but they weren't the root cause.  And now that I'm feeling physically better, I'm noticing the psychological side of it more and more.  (I have looked into clinical depression, but I don't have any of the symptoms.)

In order to try and get out of my slump, I've started meditations on opening my chakras.  I feel as if they are ALL blocked, some of them more than others.  I've also, through a class I'm taking at The Magical Circle School, researched and found herbs that will help me work through this, in the form of incenses and bath herbs.  (Wood ruff, St. John's wort, cloves, and peppercorns to name a few.)  And this weekend, on the night of the full moon, I plan to cast a spell to help me further.

All of this seems to be helping, slowly.  It took an almost unimaginable amount of willpower to actually start the process, but bit by bit I seem to be improving.  I've turned in four assignments in three different classes this week, and finished the readings in another.  I've actually gotten out of bed before noon three times this week. 

Hopefully all THIS will do the trick.

Getting My Life in Order

I have a list of way too many things that I want to learn about, or do, or learn to do.  This is different from my "Things to Do This Life" list, although a few of the items (like snowboarding) are on both.  This list is about things that I want to learn more about, like animal husbandry, or that I want to incorporate into a near-daily practice, like meditation.

I had been blocked for a long while on doing any of them because of one of my many bad reactions to stress.  When I start to feel overwhelmed about the amount of things I have to do, I shut down and can't do any of them.  I couldn't decide on which part of the list to focus, or on which item I should tackle first.  I felt like I didn't have time to do them all, so I did none of them.

I finally decided I needed to approach the list as I would numerous projects at a job, since simply trying to decide which one I WANTED to do first wasn't working.  I needed to prioritize them according to importance, time constraints and so on.  I assigned them all to categories, like Spirituality and Fitness, then assigned weight to those categories.  Most of the items fit into multiple categories, but that was okay--it made it even easier to weigh them.

The item that came to the top of the list surprised me--Learning to Use a Compass.  It fit into 8 of my 11 categories! (At the bottom of the list?  Sorting pre-digital photos and old cooking magazines.)

Now that I have a clear plan for these "tasks", I feel I can get a better handle on all kinds of things I've been avoiding (from simple things like putting freshly laundered, FOLDED clothes into drawers, to bigger things like sorting my entire closet-dresser-guest closet system). 

And maybe, just maybe, stepping a tiny bit closer to that elusive balance I seek.

Update: Evil Ex

I know I promised a list of good things about hot weather, but I interrupt my previously planned post for an update on my life:


It’s over. It turned out to be $17,000 stolen from us instead of the $12,000 we’d originally thought, but it’s over. Our income is back to normal, from being at HALF for the last few months. Our savings are gone, our credit accounts are almost maxed out, and we borrowed as much as we could from family and friends, but it’s over. Another month of it and there was a very real possibility that we would have lost the house, but it’s over. It will still take us a couple of months to "catch up", but . . .It's Over!

And it wasn’t nearly as bad as I would have thought it would be if I'd been told about it beforehand. We learned that money really is not what makes you happy. We grew even closer as we got creative about entertaining ourselves without spending money, not to mention as we shared the stress and the distress of the situation. We spent more time cooking together, which we love to do, and more time just talking. Our puppies benefited as we spent more time at home training or at the dog park playing. The cats saw more of us than usual as we stayed at home instead of going out.

All in all, I’d have to say it was at the very least a not totally bad experience, and taught us a lot. I wish we hadn’t had to spend $17,000 on the lesson, but I’m not sure we would have appreciated it as much if we hadn’t. So, if you ever read this, thank you, Courtney. You have reminded us just how much we love each other.

And may you reap everything you deserve from the stolen money.

Which Came First . . .

Had an interesting discussion with DH yesterday, regarding wood stoves.  Now, understand that we do not have a wood stove at the moment, nor even a wood fireplace.  But I dream of a studio over a garage heated by a wood stove. 

"Why?"  you ask.

I just find them terribly romantic, even beyond their incredible efficiency.  And the idea of banking them at night and then having them waiting for you in the morning. . .delicious.

The discussion was over whether to start gathering wood, and then acquire the stove, or to get the stove, then start saving wood for it.  It seems like it would make sense to get the wood, then the stove.  Otherwise, you chance having a stove you have to buy wood for all winter. 

Problem is, we, and I in particular, have a terrible habit of buying all the "stuff" needed to accomplish a project, whether it's a home repair project or an art project, and then not actually doing the project.  It's very frustrating, a great way to accumulate a house full of things you don't need, a horrible waste of money, and irresponsible to boot.  (We are getting better about it, though.)

Of course, this is a moot discussion unless we can actually sell the house this fall and buy a farm/homestead.

Coming Out of the Closet

Broom Closet, that is.

To honor (and enter for) my friend PhoenixWitch's giveaway, a book entitled "Out of the Broom Closet:  50 True Stories of Witches Who Found and Embraced the Craft", I decided to blog about my own experience coming out.  (Check out the giveaway, and a good blog, here.)

I've actually been quite lucky--my story is pretty boring.  No high drama, no civil rights violations, no lost relationships or bad feelings.  I'm going to have to tell it in pieces, 'cause it's all been piecemeal, I didn't take out an ad in the paper or make any other kind of grand announcement.

It started out quietly, due to the fact that my DH was concerned about issues at his workplace.  I was dying to plaster it all over my Facebook page, but he didn't want his coworkers to know, and he was concerned about telling his family, many of whom are on Facebook.  I suppose I didn't really want to announce it to my own mother over FaceBook, either.  My DH and I both decided that we'd at least wait until we could tell our families personally.

I wanted to wait until I saw Mom face-to-face, but I felt that I was lying to her, keeping something so important in my life from her.  I ended up kind of blurting it out on the phone.  I'm really lucky in that my mom has always been super-supportive of me and my life decisions, so it didn't go badly.  It was a little dicier telling the rest of my family, which I did when I had to attend the funeral of a very dear aunt, and my entire family wondered why I didn't want to actively participate in the Catholic ceremony.  Still, when another 80+, very Catholic, aunt heard I'd changed religions and stated that it didn't matter, because all gods are one god, I felt truly accepted.

At this point, I REALLY wanted to be open about it to everyone I knew, but we still had the problems of DH's workplace and family.  I told a few people who were exclusively personal friends, not in his professional field at all, but that was the extent of it.  He ended up telling his mother in a phone conversation also, and although she has not been as accepting, he has yet to be disowned.  :)  At that point, I DID plaster it all over my FaceBook page, seeing as I am not FaceBook friends with any of his coworkers, so they'd be unlikely to see my page.

(The workplace issue was finally resolved when he took a ten days off for the Winter Holidays, and then his boss called and asked if he could come back in for a few hours, ON THE SOLSTICE!!!  His boss had no idea that there was anything special about the day, but I put my foot down and told Don, "No, absolutely not.  You are NOT working on Yule."  He ended up explaining to his boss that we weren't Christian, and the 21st was as important to us as Christmas Day is to him.  Voila--end of secrecy.  At that point, I stopped hiding my pentagram under my shirt when I visit Don at work, and he can now ask for other Wiccan holidays off.  And he can be free about what he posts on his own FaceBook page.)

The final revelation came when, at an Earth Hour party we threw, I drunkenly inadvertently revealed to all our neighbors that we are Wiccan.  Again, no fireworks, nobody storming off in anger, nobody avoiding us after.  (This IS Canada, after all.  :)  )  Just one admission that somebody's daughter had looked into Wicca, and one tasteless joke about why we didn't cast a spell and make the joker rich.

At this point, I still don't shout it from rooftops, but I don't hide it, either.  I wear my pentagram and other Craft jewelry freely anywhere I go, I leave Craft books out in plain site all over the house, and I'm willing to discuss it with anyone who asks.  And I feel wonderfully free and privileged to be living in this time and place, where I am able to be open about my Path without having to worry about nasty repercussions.

Bright Blessings, All!

Life Lists

I've always found the idea of a life list interesting, but I've always hated the terms "Bucket List" and "Things to Do Before I Die List". They both sound SO depressing. However, I have found a phrase that isn't negative. From Goddess Leonie I found "Things to Do This Life." It was such a wonderful, optimistic thought, it inspired me to start my own right away.

I've got 150+ items on it so far, ranging from the almost done #23 (Create a Vision Board), to the silly #07 (Have a bicycle with streamers on the handlebars), to the unlikely #129 (Canoe down the Amazon). A few of them I'll have done by the end of this year. A few, like #129, I'll only get to do if political climates change so that it's safe to do them. Most of them will take time and/or careful planning.

But it's the dreaming that's important--whether I actually accomplish everything on the list is irrelevant. After all, it's the journey that counts.

Life's Lessons

I was thinking today, "I HATE this house," as I've thought so many times since we weren't able to sell it and I started feeling trapped here. But this time was different. In the past month I've been reminded by two separate teachers, concerning two unrelated issues, that everything comes in its own time, and I really do believe that, even if I forget it occasionally.

So, instead, I started thinking of how much I've learned from this house.

1. I didn't think I needed light, since I like the dark so much, but this house is SO dark that all I want now is glass--casement windows and sash (?) windows and french doors and anything else, so long as it lights up the room naturally.

2. I didn't think I needed fresh air, since it seems I'm always inside with the heat or air conditioning on, but since most of the windows that this house does have don't open, I've found I really miss it, and on the next house I want to be able to open every window in the house up. More like a beach house, even if it is in the middle of Ontario.

3. I never thought I'd miss having a deck/porch/patio, but spending the last 5 years not really able to build one, as I've mentioned previously, I'm dying for one. I plan, on the next house, to spend as much time outdoors as I do indoors, no matter the weather.

4. I really don't like basement ceilings that are lower than the ceilings in the rest of the house.

5. I don't like dark-wood in kitchens as much as I thought I did when we put this one in, although it definitely beats the pink-and-green monstrosity that was here before.

6. Last, but not least, WE DON'T NEED THIS BIG A HOUSE!

All of these things, I would never have known if we hadn't lived here, and some of them I wouldn't have learned if we'd sold the house two years ago.

Appreciation Journals

I'm not sure how much validity this has, 'cause I love journaling anyway, but I'm really enjoying my new practice of keeping an appreciation journal.  I think it is slowly changing my thinking to more positive avenues.  And I especially love that Don is doing it, too, so we can read our entries to each other after we're done, and about 1/2 the time, they're about the same things!  And I totally love the actual physical book itself, with it's pretty pastel colors, faux weathered pages, and soft cover--I love touching it and looking at it, as well as writing in it. 

As to the actual appreciation part of it, I had no idea how much I truly had to be appreciative of in my life.  I mean, I could always find at least 5 things to list about how much I appreciate my husband, but that seems like cheating--after all, I'm not trying to keep a Don-is-great-and-wonderful journal (though he is).  So I try really hard to come up with 5 things I appreciate that are not about him, at least not directly. And I keep thinking of items!  AND I'm noticing more and more with each passing day.  I do actually find myself noticing things throughout the day that I could list at night when I write my entry.  It's nice.