Loss of Innocence

I woke up in the early hours of the morning, at a time Don calls oh-dark-thirty, and had a random thought that disturbed me so much I couldn't go back to sleep for a long, long time. 

Our last dog, Merly, was scared of EVERYTHING.  Life was a terrifying experience for her.  I thought for a long time that it was our fault--that we'd trained her wrong, or not enough, or too much.  Then I learned more about animal psychology/behavior.  I found out that while we might have been able to alleviate the fear, had we known more about it, we could never have made her feel totally safe, thanks to her early upbringing and her basic personality.

 So, when we got Lance, we decided to do everything in our power to make sure he didn't suffer from any of the same terrors.  We crate trained.  We took him to trainers who started their Early Puppyhood Education class with the statement, "Imagine what your child would grow up to be if the entire time he was growing up, he never had to hear the word 'no'."  We spent every spare moment we had for three months socializing him with people and dogs and situations of every conceivable type.  We nurtured and protected and encouraged and loved.  AND IT WORKED!  Neither of us had ever seen a happier puppy!  His ears and head were always up, his eyes were always alight with love and mischief, and he never met a stranger, human or canine, that he didn't like.  His life motto was "Hi, I'm Lance!  And life is GREAT!"  That's the way he was until he hit 8 months, that is.

At that point, as we were warned would probably happen, he got hit with panosteitis.  'Pano', as it's commonly referred to by the owners of large breed dogs, those who most often go through it.  It is, to put it simply, 'growing pains.'  It typically occurs in the long bones of the legs, jumps from leg to leg, and can take anywhere from days to months to go away.  There is no avoiding it, and no 'cure'.  Analgesics help control the pain, but still, sometimes they can hardly walk from it.

For the past two weeks, he's been favoring his front left leg, and doing everything from limping slightly to laying and whimpering so continuously it sounds like he's crying.  Worst of all, exertion of any kind makes it worse, so we can't play fetch with him, or take him for walks, or take him to the dog park.  The vast majority of training involves him standing or sitting or walking, so that's out, too.  All of a sudden, he's in pain, and we've stopped playing with him.  I can't imagine what he's thinking.  He must imagine he's being punished for something he can't figure out.  He's still getting as much love and attention as we can give, but it's not enough.  He's a puppy!  He needs exercise for developing muscles.  He wants to run and play.  And he doesn't have the capacity to understand why any of this is happening to him.

He's changed.  His ears and head are more often down than up anymore.  He sleeps SO much.  And he's not as happy and carefree as he used to be.  I don't know if he ever will be again, after having gone through this.  (His right front leg is getting better, but yesterday he was favoring his back right leg.)

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO FIX IT.  Or even if it can be fixed.

Chicken Feed

I am SO excited!  I just read my very first bit of information on the care of chickens--chicks, to be exact!

Now, this may not seem like very exciting news to anyone else, but to me it's the first step towards having a real farm!  You see, Don and I have been talking about the possibility of having actual livestock on our eventual farm, going back and forth on different animals, dreaming and planning, etc.   This all with me knowing next to nothing about any of it.  Don, at least, was raised out in the country around various animals. (The most notable of which, apparently, were the %^&* cows, but that's another story, or stories, altogether.)

At any rate, one of the things we've definitely settled on is that we're going to have chickens.  (Do they actually COUNT as livestock?)  And, of course, I know nothing about them.  Not entirely true, I suppose--I was actually surprised to learn/realize recently that here in Ontario you have to keep your chickens warm!  I'm a South Texas girl originally, so this was downright shocking, after I got over the laughter.  :)  Still, I didn't know anything about the most basic of chicken care, until I stumbled upon a pdf about it in someone's blog.  I won't post the link 'cause I can't find a way to contact the author (or follow the blog, or anything else) other than posting a reply to the post, which I've done.  (Why can't EVERYONE use Blogger?)

Anyway, it was cutesy and REALLY basic, and I have no idea if any of the information was correct, as I haven't researched it or anything.  I certainly wouldn't rush out and buy chicks on its info alone, but it was still exciting!

Storms

Today, I thought I'd post a snippet of my response to an extremely well-written article by a friend of mine.  (Which is here.)  I thought I'd just write about my original experience (To read more on it, go here.), but I don't think I'll be able to do it twice.  It was hard enough the first time, so I'll just re-post that. 


[snip]

I too, used to LOVE rain, and especially thunderstorms. Growing up in South Texas, I rarely saw either, so they were both special and appreciated when they did happen. In May of 1997 Central Texas experienced a REALLY bad tornado "season". We were living just north of Austin at the time, and one of those storms came through the area where we lived while I was home alone. (I later learned it was an F3 from a storm that spawned over 20 tornadoes.) It actually went between our house and the next, knocking over the fence and doing some roof damage., but didn't quite touch down, luckily. I spent the rest of that stormy night in fear of the next siren.

To my extreme distress, the next time a storm blew up (about a week later) I was just as freaked out as I was that night. The fear during storms lessened over the next couple of years, but only slowly. When we moved to the West Coast, instead of missing the violent storms I had once so loved, I was actually relieved that they rarely if ever occurred out there.

Eventually I thought I was over it, but then we moved back eastward (late 2004). Our first summer here in Ontario, I basically went through it all over again. As if it had just happened. I thought I'd be scared of thunderstorms for the rest of my life at that point. Luckily, I was wrong, and I did eventually get more or less over it.

At this point in my life, I can sit on the porch and enjoy a good thunder and lightning storm. I can smile and go back to sleep when I hear hard rain on the window pane. But if I'm out and about during stormy weather, I probably watch the skies more than most.

[snip]